i’ve been drinking it (diluted in water) - it tastes like feet.
i’ve been using it in salad dressing (with other ingredients) - it tastes pretty good.
i’ve been putting it on my face (diluted in water) - it smells like feet.
i’m probably going to put it in my hair soon (and rinse it out with water) - it will smell like feet.
Penelope lives on our stairs.
I spend a lot of time with this butt in my face.
some girls post cute pictures of their cute outfits…and then there’s me.
here’s a pic of my shirt stuck in the zipper of my bag. after walking home from the train with my bra exposed. in broad daylight. pretty fashion-forward, if you ask me.
so when i actually make something good, i want to share it with the world.
one night, i struck gold. i made an incredible meal! a meal i’d actually serve to people! i was still feeling great about it the next day and decided to share it with a couple friends at work.
me: “guys, i made the best dinner last night.”
friend 1: “really, what was it?”
me: “ok, so i beat two eggs with a little bit of water while butter melted on a large, flat, square pan.”
friends 1 & 2: “ok” “yeah?”
me: “i poured the mixture and covered the entire surface and let it sit for a second. then i put cheese, beans and arugula right in the centre for a minute.”
friend 1: (shifty-eyed) “…ok”
me: (still really excited) “yeah, so i slowly took each corner and folded it over into the centre and let it sit for an additional minute.”
friend 2: “i mean…was it….”
friend 1: “AN OMELETTE.”
friend 2: “yeah”
me: “oh my god.”
friend 1: “you made an omelette.”
me: “oh my god. i made a fucking omelette.”
Playing ball with Olive.
It’s Friday - we are getting jiggy.
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I like to treat every customer the way I would like to be treated and that’s with no respect at all.
Saratoga, CA
